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Recs & Ratings 

'Desire, I Want To Turn Into You' by Caroline Polachek

This album was recommended to me by a friend I have who's music taste and advice I value very much, so I'm excited for this one. I have never heard of this album, or this artist (Sam is too niche) but it gives me the opportunity to rank and rate an album I have never heard a snippet of. yay!!

thank you again and again, 

love from eden xoxo 

Tracklist 

• Welcome To My Island
• Pretty In Possible 
• Bunny Is A Rider
• Sunset
• Crude Drawing Of An Angel
• I Believe 
• Fly To You (feat. Grimes and Dido)
• Blood And Butter
• Hopedrunk Everasking
• Butterfly Net
• Smoke 
• Billions

title : Welcome To My Island

rating :8.75/10

- instrumentals : 8/10

- vocals : 9/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics : 8/10

notes :

Immediately the opening vocals are enticing. Very unique sound, very original style. Like a blend of Charli xcx and AURORA - soundtrack is giving Taylor swifts 'Midnights'. 

Vast range of vibes within the song - but they work together in a way that creates a very signature sound. 

I resonate with the concept of just living in your own mind or "Island" and she has portrayed this beautifully through the playful pop beat and the striking imagery of an island, with palm trees and blue water - and then contrasting that vibrancy with themes of isolation, attachment, and mental illness, or so I have interpreted it. the lyrics ate simple, but the metaphor is strong. 

Chorus is beautiful, backing vocals amplify the upbeat energy with the call "Desire, I wanna turn into you" adding that element of longing. 

The bridge leans more into the narrative of a girl with an ego that isolates her "just you and your reflection". 

I also noticed that the lyrics say "wanna" instead of "want to" like the album title. I believe this was intentional - perhaps she is presenting as articulate or professional, but then once you get to know her by listening to the song, her language is more casual like a conversation rather than a presentation. She herself stated that the song felt "bratty and stupid" - which could also contribute to the more childish whinging sounding language of "wanna" instead of "want to". Overall a very fun song. 

title : Pretty In Possible

rating :9/10

- instrumentals : 8/10

- vocals : 10/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics : 8/10

notes :

Some more unique opening vocals followed by the introduction of the lyrics / melody and the beat. 

The layering of instrumentals builds up behind the vocals.

Vocals in this song are next level - the techniques are original and astounding - flips and riffs and runs are very impressive, as well as her range. 

The vocals sound effects are well chosen and well placed, and 

The lyrics are all over the place to the untrained ear - but sensical in the way that the song is supposed to portray the disjointed, dizzying, and dreamlike state of desire. This song has great narrative and concept - the lyrics and vocal techniques and instrumentals all work with one another to create a piece that sounds like the feeling of desire. Brilliance. 

Play on words - Pretty In Possible, Pretty Impossible. 

Love the strings near the end, well incorperated, satisfying close to the piece. 

title : Bunny Is A Rider

rating :8.75/10

- instrumentals : 10/10

- vocals : 8/10

- theme : 9/10

- lyrics :8/10

notes :

Immediately love the bass and the click snap drum beat YES

Sound effects of a baby cooing, bird whistle - they come from different sides when you wear headphones! Reminds me of a distraction call in order to prevent someone from finding something - in this case, herself. The birdsong, baby noises (??) and the chimes combined with the fun groovy instrumentals creates this carefree atmosphere where you just want to bop and be happy and stare at the sky. 

Introduces this character of 'Bunny' in order to embody herself. A song about escape - not wanting to be found. 

"Bunny Is A Rider"

"Giddy up"

"Satellite cant find her"

"I'm so nonphysical" 

Reference to Alice and the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland - classic escape story - also a very trippy and 'up for interpretation' kind of tale, much like this song and much of Caroline's music. 

Fun dancing song - feels like tripping out, radiates good 'find yourself' vibes.

title : Sunset

rating :10/10

- instrumentals : 

- vocals : 10/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics :10/10

notes :

Loving the opening instrumentals - straight away I am transported to a porch bar on the edge of a town, sunset on the horizon surrounded by cowboys and spinning dancers. Immaculate vibes. Another hopecore piece from Caroline Polachek. 

A flawless piece from the first listen - an example of a perfect pop song, down to the core. An interesting follow up from 'Bunny Is A Rider' with the lyrics: 

"Let's ride away" 

I particularly love the lyric:

"I turn it right and right and right instead of left"

She didn't do it wrong, she just did it different. 

Her signature vocalising techniques are beautiful as always. 

Feels like spinning and dancing into the sunset - through lyrics and instrumentals and effects. Rare to have a piece so flawlessly execute matching the vibes of the lyrics perfectly to the instrumentals perfectly to the narrative perfectly to the effects perfectly to the title. SO BRILLIANT. 

The constant honing humming harmonies add an element of sway and a more airy atmosphere - similar to the way the strings in 'Pretty In Possible' do. 

Heavier and more prominent bass in the bridge section is perfection, makes me wish I had honest hips like Shakira. 

title : Crude Drawing Of An Angel

rating :9.5/10

- instrumentals : 10/10

- vocals : 8/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics : 10/10

notes :

Bass is flawless. A sensual, dark piece - gives me gibson girl by Ethel Cain. The title is intriguing, the lyrics are poetry. I love the repetition of the word "Draw" used with different following words and therefore different meanings. 

"Draw the blinds" 

"Draw the bath"

"Draw your brow" 

"Draw your blood" 

"Draw your breath"

"Draw your wings"

Each phrase adds to the imagery. I picture a dark and sensual setting, the angel described metaphorically to represent the way in which she sees her lover. The piece feels like need and desire, and I interpret the motif of sketching a person as etching the memory of that moment into your brain. I also noticed the "camera one, camera two" reference - which further pushes the narrative of a person wanting to capture the moment they share with their lover. 

I also just adore the poetry in the title - "Crude Drawing Of An Angel" 

Crude means raw and natural, but also hastily done, or vulgar. Each of these definitions brings a different meaning to the title, and to the song. Each definition can also be applied to intimacy. Beautiful lyricism. 

title : I Believe 

rating : 10/10

- instrumentals : 10/10

- vocals : 10/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics :10/10

notes :

Upon first listen, this piece is passionate and vibrant, upbeat instrumentals and uplifting lyrics. The instrumentals, a blend of bass, drums, swelling strings, and vocal and digital effects , are energetic and fun. the lyrics are very interesting. 

 A repeating line that stood out to me was:

"I don't know, but I believe" 

This lyric challenged me to ponder on the difference between 'knowing' something and 'believing' something. How often do those words contrast one another? 

This is how I interpreted it. 

Knowing is of the mind, believing comes from the heart. 

This understanding came to me when I was thinking about my past stance on religion. I used to 'know' all of the facts and history, but I didn't believe it truly in my heart. And in the end (in my opinion) believing is stronger than knowing. This is why this piece is so powerful to me - she doesn't know, but she believes, and I think that is a beautiful thing. 

I discovered through an article that this song is a tribute to her late friend and fellow artist. Upon learning this, I saw the song in a whole new light. She is singing about immortality and the life after this one, and trusting and believing that she will see her dear friend again, even though logically she does not know that. Such a beautiful concept and a beautiful piece. 

title : Fly To You (feat. Grimes and Dido)

rating :9.25/10

- instrumentals : 10/10

- vocals : 9/10

- theme : 9/10

- lyrics :9/10

notes :

A gorgeous collaboration. Fascinating opening instrumentals. Chiming and effects. Fast paced drum beat. Unique voices that blend together beautifully. So many of her songs feel like intoxication - almost nonsensical lyrics, fast paced tempo, with layers of diverse instrumentals and vocal and digital effects that create a giddy, magical feel. I always love her bass work. 

Harp-like strumming. The song creates a setting above the clouds, very true to its name. 

High-speed and upbeat, but still magical ethereal - the piece is floating and plummeting at the same time. 

Another instrumentally advanced piece, the layers of bass, chiming, and strumming all blend above the drum beat to create an atmospheric feel. There are also moments where chirping and a wind instrument (flute I believe) add to that energy. 

The lyric that I feel best captures the vibe of the piece is:

"Lost, but I'm free"

The song feels free and open and in motion, but without direction or any particular intention. 

title : Blood And Butter

rating : 8.5/10

- instrumentals : 9/10

- vocals : 7/10

- theme : 8/10

- lyrics :10/10

notes :

Another otherworldly and passionate piece. The instrumentals are another classic Caroline blend of digital, tropical, and pop vibes. 

Such unique lyrics. Bell chiming here and there, droning beeping alien spaceship kind of sounds. Song sounds like an upward spiral. 

I adore Caroline's signature vibe - there is truly not another like her. Every aspect of her work, her voice, instrumentals, lyrics, and blend of sounds is so truly unique. 

Chorus guitar strumming makes the section feel like a classic serenade in a movie. 

The song is about falling in love, and the song feels exactly like that. It is ditzy and upbeat, with lyrics like: 

"I get closer than your new tattoo" 

A lyric about loving someone so much you want to be under their skin, but I also feel like it captures the smaller simpler things that come with love. The fact she knows about their new tattoo shows that they want to tell each other things. I feel like the way I'm describing it makes it sound like duh, but what I mean is like if I got a new tattoo I would tell my boyfriend because I'm excited, and I think there's something beautiful about having a person you keep updated on little new things in your life, like getting a tattoo. 

"You wanna show me a place, the place is here, the here is inside you" 

This lyric implies that shes already "inside" them, as in being inside their mind, or knowing them deeply. 

Bagpipe moment at the end before the descending la da da's that cement the lovergirl feel. 

title : Hopedrunk Everasking

rating :10/10

- instrumentals : 10/10

- vocals : 10/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics :10/10

notes :

I was very excited for this one because the title was so intriguing, and I was not disappointed. My favourite song on the album, and one of my favourite songs of all time. What I would give to hear this sing for the first time again, genuinely perfection, but so unique. The kind of piece so perfect there is not another even remotely like it - instrumentally, lyrically, and melodically. 

The vocalising layered with harmonies and strings in the bridge section is perfection, creates an atmosphere of yearning and desperation. 

This song is ethereal and mysterious.

It is a song about yearning told by a kind of yearner we don't really get much of in the industry. Caroline's lyrics are abstract and on the surface, confusing even, but once you learn to understand her particular style of lyricism her words are deep and profound. It is like she has her own language within a language. Truly sensational. This piece is so drastically different to the other pieces on the album so far, but still so unique. The fact that she is able to consistently create unique pieces is so impressive. 

Perfect song. 

title : Butterfly Net 

rating : 10/10

- instrumentals : 10/10

- vocals : 10/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics :10/10

notes :

Ethereal opening chords, pulsating digital notes that shimmer in and out of earshot. 

Another softer piece of hers, I adore this side of her music, and the way her voice sounds with this particular genre. Beautiful bass, I always love her bass. 

The lyrics are gentle and poetic. The atmosphere of the piece reminds me of sunlight through branches or curtains. Soft and warm. The lyrics flow and overlap between sections. 

Droplet-like sound effects - maybe a sort of wooden xylophone or digital instrument. Reminds me of a wind chime. This piece is clearly set outdoors. 

Oboe? Other reed instrument tales over the vocals as the lead between verses. 

The lyrics tell a story of wanting to catch something that it always there, portrayed through the metaphor or trying to catch light or reflections of light with a net. 

Harmonising vocals before and during the concluding chorus feels like ascension. 

The piece transitions directly into the next!! Always a fun addition, beautifully executed. 

Another diverse masterpiece. 

title : Smoke 

rating :9.5/10

- instrumentals : 9/10

- vocals : 9/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics :10/10

notes :

Immediately struck by the clean transition from the piece before. 

The repeating lyrics: "It's just smoke" as well as the euphemistic tone she uses when describing a volcano eruption (floating) portrays the mindset of a person ignoring the red flags or warning signs in a relationship, brushing off the indications of toxicity as "just smoke". The whole piece is optimistically Another lyric that stood out to me was:

"You are melting everything about me Oh, don't worry 'bout me" 

In this line she acknowledges that her partner is harming her and stripping her of who she is - but she continues to insist to an audience that they shouldn't worry about her. 

The piece is intense and fast paced, the constant vocalising "na na na"s in the background create a high energy and major feel to the song, contrasting the message. The instrumentals work parallel to the lyrics - they feel carefree and upbeat and in motion - fleeing from realisation of the truth. 

A vivid metaphor for a powerful message, brought to life by a wildly talented artist. 

title : Billions 

rating :9/10

- instrumentals : 9/10

- vocals : 8/10

- theme : 10/10

- lyrics :9/10

notes :

Another fascinating and unique opening, the digital beat drones and in and out. 

Seemingly nonsensical lyrics upon first listen. 

Described by Caroline to have come from a burst of creativity.

I love the way that she sings "Billions", the same throughout the piece - "BilliYA-ans" very satisfying and fun to sing along to. 

The piece features descriptions of random, vivid, surreal images. 

One word lyrics that contradict each other, for example:

"Sexting" "Sonnets" Reminds me of modern vs past expressions of love, contrasting each other in nature. 

Lyrics and instrumentals are all over the place, another piece that feels like intoxication. 

If this song was a painting or artwork, it would look like the graphics on sour candy - super strange and vibrant and bold. 

Bursting with life, the piece is living and breathing, it is colourful and loud and bold. It dances and soars

The repeated lyrics sang by a choir of children (London'd Trinity Boys & Girls Choir"

"I never felt so close to you" above the beat as the voices fades out add to the dreamlike hazy feel, and work as a satisfying 'end credits' conclusion to the album. 

I also think its interesting that the album opened with "Welcome To My Island" - a welcome or invitation into her mind, and closed with her telling her audience that she has "never felt so close to" us after listening to the whole album and exploring her mind. 

FINAL NOTES 

My Ranking:

1. Hopedrunk Everasking 

2. Sunset

3. I Believe 

4. Butterfly Net 

5. Smoke 

Honourable mention 

6. Crude Drawing Of An Angel 

That concludes my 'Desire, I Want To Turn Into You' Recs & Ratings entry, thank you so much again !! I am having so much fun doing these !! 

A huge thank you to my friend Sam who suggested this album to me :))

This one was particularly interesting for me because I had never heard of her or her work. It was a new and enjoyable experience to immerse myself in such unique music. 

For more song or album recommendations, contact me via my contact form, Instagram, Tiktok, or email, which can all be found on my link list. Recommendations are always appreciated, and I can keep you anonymous, or shout you out. 

Next on Recs & Ratings is...

Dominic Fike's "14 minutes"

In honour of my best friend who introduced me to him

Keep your eye out for this symbol : 

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love from Eden xoxo